An annoyance today - 2nd Edition

I don't think I have written much about annoyances; it seems it's been bigger topics - either joys or fears...

But today, I have an annoyance to get off my chest, no pun intended. I sometimes visit a site for "survivors" of SCA; it is somewhat interesting and I found it very reassuring in the first days after the Sudden Cardiac Arrest - just the comfort of knowing others live through this. Reminded me of my earliest days in Alanon (how could these people be so HAPPY??).

On SCAA today, I read a post I nearly responded to - it was from a wife who commented that she believed the family members have a more difficult experience to deal with than the survivor. Seriously??? While I understand that we all view the world from our own seats, this was difficult for me to picture..... OK, i'll grant you that in the moments of the SCA itself, the horribly frantic medical intervention, the defibrillator paddles, the initial moments of not knowing if we would survive, suffer brain damage, etc. - I'll grant you, that is tougher for the family members and friends, because of course, we don't actually remember any of that. Losing consciousness has its benefits.

But after.... after.... sorry to all the wives, husbands, partners, sisters, brothers, children -- after that, I think the "survivor" takes the unfortunate prize. For SCA cases like mine, we have devices in our chest walls that may or may not "fire" knocking us on our asses, may or may not "restart" our hearts that have stopped or flopped into unproductive non-rhythms --- We live a new life. We now have a new boarder in our lives ----- our mortality sits right here with us each and every day. Yes, I know, a normal maturation process is an understanding and acceptance of our mortality, but trust me - this is different. My mortality has breakfast with me every day, drives the car with me everywhere I go, and beds down with me each and every night.

I am sure the posting wife meant no harm, she is probably an enormously empathetic spouse, but it really rubbed me the wrong way.

I admit I feel a little like a child having a tantrum - NO - this is MY SCA! Your heart didn't stop.....