Thanksgiving - One Down, One to Go

 I don't like the holidays anymore.  It's not related to Sudden Cardiac Arrest (SCA) but I don't like them.    Last year, in the aftermath of the SCA and the domestic turmoil, it was worse; I had a true sense of dread - not quite impending doom, but not too far short. But this general malaise dates back 10 years now.  Ten years ago, we had two deaths in the immediate family within two weeks, both between Thanksgiving  and Christmas.  It was a crappy fall.  One death is hard; two in  rapid succession is just awful.  Obviously, that year, I expected to have a lousy Christmas.

Each year after that one, I thought this would be the year I enjoyed the holidays again.   I enjoyed the run-up to Christmas.  But not to be; each year, that low level dread continues.  It didn't get better, it didn't get worse  --- it's just here.

Even so, I had a nice Thanksgiving yesterday.  (and it was my birthday).  Had 8 for dinner - an interesting, lively group of friends.  I enjoyed hosting; I enjoyed cooking; I enjoyed the dynamics of the day.  But this morning I heard Christmas music on the radio and my first thought was "one down, one to go". ( I don't count New Years in "the holidays"; it's just a football marathon with a Mummer's parade for good measure.)

The good news is that in one month, the holidays will be over.   That's the run-up I now enjoy.