I was 56 the day my heart stopped; he was 23. My primary career is behind me; I had the luxury of going to Law School at 51 and now work on interesting challenging matters for a handful of regular business clients. I have nothing to prove; all that career pressure has been spent. I can do this for as long as I choose to work.
He, on the other hand, had more pulled out from under him than I did. While both our hearts stopped, his situation is so vastly different, I fear they truly cannot compare. Not only do I have a couple decades of adult problem-solving skills under my belt - he has so many more issues and dilemmas I had never really even thought about in my last year and a half.
He has to grapple not only with the standard questions that all we SCA survivors have - why me? will it happen again? will this kill me? when? But him - he has so many more issues - he has to grapple with the concept of getting married, does he become a father?
And then there is the career - he was a new West Point graduate when his heart stopped at age 23. He had a career plan that flew out the window on his heartbeat. Having SCA and an implanted defibrillator probably takes a young man out of consideration for many of those West Point grad jobs. Certainly took him out of the running for what he had planned.
His implanted defibrillator has not been as quiet as mine. Mine has not fired. He has had two episodes and no medical answers. No flipping medical answers for the young man. How is he to plan his life? How is he to plan his day?
There is a community out there; we try to help one another come to terms with all of it. And then today, I saw that my 24 year old who is scared, angry, reeling and struggling - had reached out to lend a hand to a 23 year old who was even newer to SCA survival.
Does a heart good.
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