Strong bonds, yes. Agreement, no. I just read another new survivor story - as with all the stories, your heart races a little with the shared fear of that day; you are grateful they survived; then the fear and gratitude mix together -- and selfishly, above all else, I am glad I survived. I can't turn away from the stories, but they are not easy, breezy reads. They come with anxiety - mixed with some empathy, but self-centered anxiety all the same. Then the last paragraph of this one erased my anxiety and replaced it with silent irritation. I'd never respond, never offer criticism on that site, but this is my blog, so here goes....
This person, we shall call NewOne - this NewOne closed (as many do) with a rousing, ringing, soaring statement of certain knowledge and gratitude that the "Lord Jesus" had provided the expert CPR done by the husband, had been responsible for the quick response by the EMTs, had guided the quick and effective use of hypothermia to reduce the body's need for oxygen, and so forth. "Lord Jesus" had directly and purposefully done each and every one of those things ----just to save the life of NewOne. To take NewOne out of the 95% and into the 5%.
Annoys the hell out of me. My first thought is shit, I hope that the loved ones of non-survivors who turn to that site for comfort don't read this tripe. The second thought - really??? Lord Jesus did all that to save you, but Lord Jesus elected to let B*, S*, M* and the other 95% die? Because why? Lord Jesus saw something in you, NewOne, that was somehow lacking in those who die?
I understand people have that kind of faith, that rock solid belief in a God who intervenes regularly in their daily lives. The God who saves them from tripping down the stairs; who saves them from that car running a red light, who saves them from a runaway train or shopping cart, who enables them to pass that exam (always wondered if he/she worked on a curve for exams?) - they believe in a God who rescues them over and over again on each and every day. I don't believe that (obviously). I believe in a Divine, but not one who is messing around haphazardly in daily life - oh, I'll electrocute that one with faulty wiring, but let this one live. I'll zap that one with a lightening bolt. Tornado slaughter here, blue skies there. Oh yeah - don't let's forget Tsunami's - barely anyone gets out of that alive. I find it fundamentally absurd.
I am far more comfortable believing in happenstance than I am in a God or "Lord Jesus" who denies life to 95%. It's my blog and I'll be sacrilegious if I want to.
Irritated. Annoyed. Still grateful for and acutely aware of my extraordinary good fortune on September 5, 2009. The dice rolled my way on that date.
Photo owned by Rosendahl: http://www.flickr.com/photos/rosendahl/2111805581/in/photostream/
Posts
testing
ReplyDeleteI am with you on this one....and gave this whole point a lot of thought. It all comes down to: can you or any person sincerely live without having anwsers, without a good response to the question "Why?". Can you calmly and quietly sit with your own fate and everything that accompanies it?
ReplyDeleteI wrote my final philosophy thesis on mystical elements in Heideggers / Meister Eckharts thinking. It comes really close to some Zen thinkers. In the thinkers that I mention here, there are no real anwsers, there is just Being and Nothingness. The teachers and I disagreed on the fact that this thinking is 'dangerous'. Some of them argued that you need some sort of God. Whereas others thought that this is not necessary, just a human need. Oh well, I will not bore you with this, and I probably need a couple of days to talk about it, to really make my point.
I did realize for myself that simply carrying my fate is VERY HARD. It is like the book I bought from IRVING YALOM: you are staring at the sun with your eyes wide open! THAT is really hard! Everything inside tells you not to, tells you to look away, look for anwsers etc.
When I here about people like this I also envy them, that they feel comfortable with a 'theory' that I will never be able to embrace. Simply because it does not stand, like you already pointed out.
But I also realize that what we are all doing is simply trying to deal with something so big and fundamental. And we each to this with the tools and personality that we are given at the moment.
Oh well, this doesn't all take your irritations away. Just wanted to let you know that those irritations make good blog posts, that I am very interested in reading. Kind thoughts from a fellow-thinker! Marije
I am headed off for my trip and am taking this with me....i have almost asked if i could read your thesis
DeleteMarty,
ReplyDeleteI get annoyed, too. I left a church because of what they "expected" me to say of my experience while in a coma. They all had prayed numerous times for me and I think they wanted to be credited for that. And maybe that my "story" would confirm their beliefs and bring more pennies into their pot on Sunday.
Well, sorry about that. I didn't see a Mt. Olympus where apostles were gambling on our life events.
The one that annoys me the most is, "HE did it to teach me a lesson". WHAT??? HE gave you cancer to teach you a lesson? Bad girl...
I think I like the first comment, above, the best - "Testing"
Totally agree! Thank you for this post -
ReplyDelete(BTW, I am a trial lawyer who has always been annoyed when we win and my client turns to ME and says "Thank Jesus!")
Debra, hah, hah, hah.
ReplyDeletean then there is the whole Tim Tebow thing....
THank you for reading!