Boats as Prism

All through the fall and early winter, I rented boats.  I have not gone out alone yet - my skills are not at that level.  Each of my companions had more experience than I do, but only one is expert in the local waters,  And the local waters here, as in many places, are tricky. Sandbars lurk.

The boat owners provide a briefing on the basics and finer points of the boat and some insight into the local waters.  My companions hear the briefing in remarkably different ways.  And I have learned how I will hear the briefing when my turn comes.

The least experienced of the bunch had the least patience for the briefing.  She thinks you  need to know  only on/off, forward/reverse, anchor and depth finder.  Navigational markers are superfluous.

Then the men.  One responded with visible signs of irritation; no overt brusqueness, but non-verbally communicating that he had a great deal of boating experience and did not need the information on the boat.  Had little interest in the local water information as well. Outwardly polite, but point made clearly and sharply - not a newbie.

Then the next verbalized in a blustery, I-blew-by-the-Jones's sort of way.  You know how this goes: he had owned boats far bigger than this one, grew up on the water,  navigated far trickier seas, caught bigger and better fish -  he knew all he wanted to know.

And then there is the class act who will be my role model when my time finally comes to receive my very own briefing. This friend has been out on the rental boat with me several times; he has heard the entire briefing more than once; he grew up here and has been boating these waters for 40+ years.  But he was silent, smiling, gracious and attentive - even the second or third time through.  The first time, he turned to me after we had gotten underway to explain why he had let the briefing run through even though there was no new information for him --- but an explanation was not necessary.  It was already clear.

This is one of the kindest people I have ever known; he will grant each person time, patience and respect for their expertise; what he already knows is just not the point.

Boat as prism - kindness trumps.

Falling for Kindness

On a long drive, I was pondering men - again.

The men I have known have all been smart -  that is the one common denominator.  Some whip smart, some astonishingly quick, some deeply analytical, some mind-numbingly methodical, some well-educated, others with instinctive intelligence.    But each was smart.

Beyond raw intelligence, the group is diverse.  A 'bad boy', more than one alcoholic/addict, one manipulator, one who saw only darkness,  at least one with "mother issues".  Some short, some tall, some handsome, some less so.  One drove fast cars, one rode a bicycle 250 miles to visit, one taught me to drive a motorcycle, though not particularly well.   (He taught well, but I learned poorly).   Some readers, no cooks that I remember, one gardener, most loathed yardwork.

 At least one was a middle-of-the-road guy (you know the sort - Mom liked him), but I admit that for a long time, I was drawn to the edges.  Looking back, most were on some edge or another.  They took risks, the paths were unclear, having any sort of relationship with them involved risk for me.  Risks I usually took and perhaps even sought.

And now, I find myself drawn to kindness.  Kindness still wrapped up in some edge, in quick and unusual intelligence, in brilliant humor, in a life of successes and failures; I have never sought out simple.

But I think I am falling for kindness. It's a blanket and I love it.