Wrestling with Anxiety -

Anxiety seems nearly ever-present these days. It's understandable, of course, I had "sudden cardiac arrest" without a known cause; I have a new implanted device that should prevent it, but it's all of 10 days old --- so anxiety is normal.

But I have long believed that for the most part, fear is something to be beaten. I remember when I was certified as a diver - you take all the training, do all the practice and then you dive in the scary deep sea. So you do your safety checks, you stand at the back of the boat and literally take a giant stride in the ocean. Giving up your air.

On my "checkout dive" - the virgin scuba dive, a number of the people who were to go did not - could not, they were just too afraid. Several others did one dive but not the second. I remember thinking - all that training, all that expense of time and money and fear won. For something like that - a first scuba dive - or like this, the first time you exercise hard after a SCA - there is no such thing as "ready". You can do all the prep, and take all the precautions and then there is just you and your "giant stride".

Fear can't win. I rode my bike for 35 minutes, a little hard, just a little - with a helmet --- but I did it!

Fear appropriately made me take precautions - the helmet, the moderate pace - but fear was beaten; it will not deprive me of a favorite past-time.